The Bleaker Sex Indeed

The op-eds in Sunday’s New York Times drew some conclusions that, as a woman overall, left me quite unsettled.

An article entitled “The Bleaker Sex,” written by Frank Bruni, analyzes the upcoming HBO series “Girls” and compares it to the modern woman’s failed attempt to maintain a Don Draper-esque sex life: all pleasure, all detachment. In the sex scene he highlights, he notes the female “hero” is portrayed as having no say in her sexual encounter, choosing to accommodate her partner at her expense rather than striving for mutual satisfaction.

Furthermore, he posits that the 24-hour porn cycle has raised the expectations of men that mere mortal women are unable to fulfill and has pushed the idea that women are to remain silent partners when it comes to sex. I would imagine that this idea would spill over into other aspects of life as well.

I have to admit that Bruni has a point. I have to agree that pornography has had a major effect on how people are becoming less able to separate these sexual fantasies from reality thus contributing to the sexual devolution of society, which is a huge disservice to everyone, but for sure affects women negatively.  What I don’t agree with is the implication that men are more capable than women in having casual sexual encounters and that casual sexual encounters have become the ideal. Just as I believe women are more than capable of sexual detachment, I also believe that men are not immune from the attachment sexual contact can bring.

What do you think? Is sexual detachment becoming the “new normal”?

 

 

Bitching at Barnard

I, for one, was thrilled when I heard that President Barack Obama was going to give Barnard College’scommencement speech this semester.

Unfortunately, to say that many Columbia University students didn’t share in my enthusiasm is a vast understatement.  In fact, they took to the web and began posting some awfully hateful, misogynistic comments on the original story. Take this gem for example, as submitted by Barnard sophomore Anne Bahr to Jezebel (read the story all the the offensive quotes by clicking here):

While you guys were perfecting your deepthroating techniques and experimenting with scissoring and anal play, we were learning Calculus (usually by sophomore year of high school).

Lovely.

What’s even more screwed up is that Barnard’s own President Debora L. Spar brushed off the commentary as the inane comments of “19-year-olds writing at 4:30 in the morning.” Columbia University President Lee C. Bollinger concurred, even stating that general disappointment was “understandable.”

Both Spar and Bollinger need a wake-up call. The comments of these students go beyond being merely bummed that they won’t get a send-off from Obama. It’s disturbing that this hate speech is going unchecked and that these two key authority figures refuse to take a stand against it. Granted, there is a right to hate speech so long as it doesn’t incite violence, however neither of these University presidents should stand idly by and allow the obvious animosity toward their sister university.

This issue even got the attention of The New York Times! Click here to read the article.

 

Vintage Journalism and Women

If only this guy knew that some of today’s journalism greats would be kick-ass women such as Soledad O’Brien, Barbara Walters, Lisa Ling and Arianna Huffington. Watch below to see what I’m talking about…

Click here to read the original post on Huffington Post Women.

Ashley Madison: Exploitation and Body Image

This Jezebel piece written by BBW model Jacqueline (who was unfortunately featured in a couple of Ashley Madison ads) really hits the nail on the head when it comes to body shaming and unethical (and, dare I say immoral?) business ventures. Definitely worth a look.

Click here to read Jacqueline's piece on Jezebel.com (photo from webojen.com)

*Note: I know, this post is coming out of the blue since another much-too-long hiatus. But, I am back once again and I have a ton of content in store. I promise No, really. I’m serious this time.

In Memoriam: Christina Santiago

Among the five killed in the Indiana State Fair stage collapse was a young woman who fought for LBT rights.

Christina Santiago, 29 (pictured below), worked as the programming manager for the Lesbian Community Care Project at Chicago’s Howard Brown Health Center. Santiago has been said to be instrumental in expanding health options for women and made a name for herself as a strong voice for Chicago’s LBT community. Her work will be appreciated always and she will be missed.

Click here to read the full article on LezGetReal.com

Reclaiming “Slut”

The recent emergence of “slut walks” has been causing quite a stir in the media, with the latest occurring in my (semi) hometown of Philadelphia.

So, what is the point of an army of scantily clad women taking to the streets? According to a report on NBC, the SlutWalk movement was sparked by a Boston police officer’s comment which reflects the unfortunate opinion of many when it comes to the sexual assault and rape of women” “If didn’t dress like a slut, then she would not have been raped.”

I could go on a 100 mile-long rant on how this police officer is an idiot, how he would think twice about saying that if the victim were, say, his mother, daughter, sister, niece, etc., how the way a woman is dressed is not an invitation to rape no matter what, that rape isn’t a crime caused by uncontrollable sexual urges but by an assailant wanting exercise power and control over their victim and so on. But, I won’t. I think these SlutWalks are doing a great job in not only gaining media attention for a crime that continues to affect women worldwide, but they are also sending a powerful message: we are not “sluts,” we are women who have rights to our bodies and to our sexuality.

Boycott the Bunnies

Image taken from Posterworx

Gloria Steinem has sent out the call, ladies.

One of Steinem’s many claims to fame is the 1963 exposé on the poor conditions of the Playboy Club, in which she wrote a piece that blew one hell of a whistle on the less-than-glamorous working conditions. Now that NBC is about to bring the club to the small screen, Steinem is calling for a boycott of the upcoming series.

Gloria Steinem speaking during a conference at the Santa Fe Convention Center (via Flickr)

According to a report on Yahoo! News, Steinem calls for the boycott not due the inevitable sexually charged content, but because the show will most likely be a grossly inaccurate portrayal of Playboy’s 1960s heyday.

It normalizes a passive dominant idea of gender. So it normalizes prostitution and male dominance…I just know that over the years, women have called me and told me horror stories of what they experienced at the Playboy Club and at the Playboy Mansion.

The Playboy Club premieres in September. Will you be watching?

Huffington Post Women: A Review

Arianna Huffington launched Huffington Post: Women last week, thus giving us a special section full of news and opinion to keep us busy.

Over the past week, I must say that I’m liking the content. I am happy to see that there is yet another news outlet that is available for us, by us. Good show, Ms. Huffington. You will most definitely be added to my blogroll.

Arianna Huffington: a million times, thank you! (Click for source)

Some pieces that I fell in love with:

Rwandan Rape Victims Find Healing Through Yoga

Sex For Sale: College Students Using ‘Sugar Daddies’ To Pay Off Loan Debt

What If Women Were in Charge of the Debt Talks?

I’d post more, but I don’t want to steal the site’s thunder. Rest assured that the site will become a source for content here.

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